Sins of the Tongue

It has been claimed that women speak more than men, almost 13, 000 more words more than her male counterpart. Perhaps that is why Eve felt the need to add those extra words to God’s command about the tree way back in Genesis, eh? Scientists say a protein causes us to run on at the mouth but I suspect there are other reasons. For me, I know I begin to babble when I am nervous, when it is too quiet, when I feel uncomfortable, but as I have matured and gotten more comfortable with who I am in Christ, I find I don’t need to fill every empty silence with speech. Sometimes it is comfortable to just sit in the quiet and know. You know that, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) He does take the sins of our tongue as seriously as the rest of our sins though and this next section was not fun to look at for me, and if you’re going through the book I suspect it wasn’t fun for you either. It is amazing to me that God continues to allow us access to His mercy and grace when we constantly choose to do what we want to do, even though we know that His ways are much better for us.

 Let’s get to our questions:

II Sins of the Tongue

1.      How do we know that God takes “respectable” sins of the tongue seriously? (see Matthew 12:36-37)

“But I tell you, on the Day of Judgment men will have to give account for every idle (inoperative, non-working) word they speak. For by your words you will be justified and acquitted and by your words you will be condemned and sentenced.” Matthew 12:36-37

The above passage makes it clear that we will be held accountable for every word we speak.

As you know I love the Amplified version which says, “EVERY inoperative and non-working word.” God takes our speech seriously. I have a friend, who takes his speech very seriously; he carefully weighs each word before it escapes his lips. I admire him so, and I wish I were more like him. As I have grown and matured I like to think I have become more thoughtful of the words I allow out of this wet hole that houses my tongue. My sister Theresa kept a magnet on her fridge to remind her that her tongue was in a wet place and would slip easily.

 I am thankful though, that in my weakness and my frailty, that in my humanity and my sinfulness this amazing God we serve has prepared for ALL of the words I would ever speak at Calvary. You may remember that He knows the words I will speak, that YOU will speak BEFORE we will speak them? (Psalm 139:4) THAT brings me great comfort when I err.

 I don’t watch my language, though, because I fear punishment from Him, because that punishment was already paid for by the precious blood of Christ. I watch my speech because I love Him so much I can hardly stand to speak words that will dishonor Him. The very thought of speaking them causes tears to spring into my eyes even as I type this.

2. “Any speech,” the author writes, “that tends to tear down another person—either someone we are talking about or someone we are talking to—is sinful speech.”  Do you agree or disagree?

Years ago I evacuated to my Mother’s home during hurricane Andrew. Unable to sleep I turned on the television and watched a television preacher talk about this very subject. He told a story about how Jesus gave a bag of feathers to a woman and asked her to lay a feather on the doorstep of everyone she had ever said an unkind word against. If we are honest with ourselves, that would be an awfully big bag of feathers. When she completed her task she returned to her Master and said,” I have finished Lord, now what must I do?” He said, “Now, my child you must collect every feather and bring it back to me again.” “Lord! She cried, “This is an impossible task! Surely the wind has come and blown the feathers to the four corners of the town.” And the Lord looked at her sadly and replied, “So it is with your careless words, they have been carried far away and cannot be taken back.”

I agree, speech that tears down another person is sinful speech.

I believe, though, that there is a difference between complaining and seeking counsel, and as believers we are told to seek wise counsel. There are Christians who believe we should never speak aloud anything unpleasant, we should keep all of our negative thoughts to ourselves. That anytime we are upset we should ONLY pray and that is all.

 I do not think that is what Jerry is saying here.

Proverbs 11: 14 says, “Where no guidance is the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

We must be careful though, that in seeking counsel that we are not just complaining. Dictionary dot com defines complaining as: “to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief, to find fault.” And counsel as: “an interchange of opinions as to future procedure.”

Complaining is just spouting off your displeasure about a set of circumstances with no goal in mind. It leaves one hopeless, angry, dejected and perhaps even more upset than they were before the complaining session started.

Seeking counsel however, is an interchange of opinions with a future procedure. The goal of counseling is to exchange ideas with suggestions on HOW to proceed. Many times the counselee will come to realize THEY actually were incorrect in their perception of a situation and will be prompted to seek forgiveness in a situation. Relationships are restored by COUNSEL, not COMPLAINING.

I have BOTH complained to and sought counsel from my husband. When I complain he shuts me down and will have nothing to do with me. It is quite frustrating, but he is right in the way he handles me, because complaining is a fruitless activity. It is only when I seek his counsel that he is able to help me resolve situations to God’s glory. (Thanks Baby!)

3.      Read Ephesians 4:29. Describe in your own words, what God (through Paul) tells us to do. How does this verse relate to the “put off/put on” principle Paul mentioned earlier in verses 22-24?

Paul is saying, “Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others; as it is fitting to the need and to the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.”

If I were to put this in my own words, I would say that I should never, ever say anything about anyone that is mean spirited or unkind or that is unflattering. I shouldn’t even let it begin to come out of my mouth, and the only way I can keep it from beginning to form into actual words is to stop it at its source, my mind and heart, the place where no man sees. I should constantly think the BEST of people and from those thoughts speak. I also notice that Paul said for the “spiritual growth of others” so my speech must be others focused in that way as well, when someone complains to me or when they seek counsel, I have a choice before me. I can choose to enter the fray and complain with them and tear down the person they are upset with OR speak words that are beneficial for their spiritual growth. I can be a blessing or a curse by the words I speak.

The Scriptures say the tongue possesses the power of life and death. (Proverbs 18:21)  Doubt it? On May 24 of this year a New Yorkchild killed herself after she was bullied on the internet. 

 We, who believe MUST, as the earlier verses in Ephesians say, “strip ourselves of our former nature…and be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind” There is only ONE way to do this. Romans 12:1-2 tells us. You see verse two says, “do not be conformed to this world (this age) [fashioned after and adapted to its external and superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind…”

We must reach those who are without hope….we have the words they need to hear…we can tell them about true love and happiness and joy unspeakable…BUT we cannot do it if we live in a bubble and refuse to interact with those we consider unclean. That is NOT the example Christ left for us to follow.

4.      Which word picture(s) did James use (see James 3: 1-12) to illustrate the tongues power and sinful effects? What did he want us to realize?

James uses several word pictures:

In verse three he discusses the use of horses and the bits that are placed in their mouths, such a small thing that controls a large animal.

Next in verse four he describes the use of the rudder of a ship, which in comparison to the size of the ship, is quite small, and yet guides the ship through rough waters wherever the helmsman desires.

Finally he describes the tongue. He says even so the tongue, as tiny as it is can do great things and then he goes on to say it can start a great blaze.

Here are James words:

“Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze? And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man’s nature), being itself ignited by hell (Gehenna) “

James wants us to realize that the tongue is powerful but it can be tamed. It is not easy, I know, it is my weakest area. I think I do well because what doesn’t spill out is only contained in my thoughts…but I thought it.

There is hope for us yet, because every day we strive for we reach for and we aim to be more like Him who was perfection. We love our fellow traveler and we seek to show them compassion and love and that’s what He did…that’s what I want at the end of the day, to know that I loved like He did, and when I don’t speak properly, (or write) and you hear me, (or read it) PLEASE remember that I am a work in progress and for goodness sake say something to me! That’s what love does...