Living at Peace

If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone….


Do you struggle with being at peace with those who obviously do not want peace with you?

I do, well, let me explain…

What exactly does it mean to “live at peace with everyone”? What does it LOOK like?

If you questioned many Christians you would get many different answers. Among those answers would be “turn the other cheek” to those who would repeatedly slap you, constantly “give to those who ask” especially to those who would take advantage of you and spitefully use you, and continually allow yourself and your family to be harmed emotionally and sometimes financially without ever saying “a word”.

Sounds biblical doesn’t it? In fact didn’t Jesus do and command similar acts?

I think the WHOLE counsel of God’s Word should be considered, and I think there is a better, deeper answer in the Bible than simply “turn the other cheek”. The answer involves loving those people who slap you, who use you and while there are times you ARE to be with out a word sometimes love REQUIRES that you speak and do not remain silent.

At some point your life is supposed to intersect with another human beings life and because Christ dwells in you that person should be changed by the interaction with your new renewed self. Your behavior towards them and to them should show that you’ve been changed by Christ. I can tell you though, Christ was not always silent. In fact, there were many times that Jesus spoke so boldly that the people hearing His words became enraged as they recognized, to their shame, themselves in the things He spoke. They became so enraged that they sought to kill Him on more than one occasion.

What ends up happening though, when our lives intersect with someone who slaps us, who uses us or who is so ugly that we are required to answer back is not that they are changed (although sometimes they are) but that WE are changed. Their rudeness, their anger, their rejection reveals something in you that still needs to come out. A friend of mine once called these external pressures “providential pressures” and how we respond to them will reveal much about where we are in our own walk. Those externals press out the sin that remains within us because Jesus said clearly it is not what goes into a man that defiles him, man’s heart is already defiled, it is what escapes his lips that defiles him, because THAT shows what is lurking in the dark recesses of his heart.(Matthew 15:11)

I recently listened to a sermon by John Piper, and in it he speaks of this bitterness and anger we feel when we are mistreated. We almost feel justified by our anger and bitterness. Piper says:

“One cause of bitterness is the feeling that you have been wronged by someone. They have lied about you, or stolen from you, or been unfaithful to you, or let you down, or rejected you. And you get this feeling not only that you should not have been hurt, but that they should be punished. And you may be right”

We get this nagging, churned up feeling that makes us want to DO something about this injustice.

But not all anger is bad.

In Mark 3:5 Scripture tells us that Jesus“…glanced around at them with vexation and anger, grieved at the hardening of their hearts…” just before he healed a man on the Sabbath. Paul reminds us in Ephesians 4:26, “When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down”.

The kind of anger that causes us to withdraw into ourselves and to ball up our fists at God and man however is not the “good anger”. It is revealing something to you; it is revealing something to me. It is telling us that we do not trust God to make this situation right. It says to God that we think something we can do would repay the evil done to us far better than He ever could.

Worse, it says to God that we do not believe Him.

He promises us that He WILL cause ALL things to work together for good, that good being that we will be conformed into the image of Christ through the things we suffer.(Romans 8:28-29) If Christ who was perfect, learned obedience by the things He suffered, (Hebrews 5:8) how dare we expect less.

In order to live at peace, truly at peace we have must examine ourselves, first.

Have you become bitter because this person continues to use you, to speak ugly things to you and about you and it hurts? Are you wondering how long Oh Lord do I have to put up with this treatment? Have you thought to yourself I have only meant to do good to this person and LOOK how they repay me?

Beloved, God sees and knows your heart and He is aware of every thing you did publically and everything you did privately for this person. He sees and knows and He is working in this situation: TRUST HIM.

Second, you do not have to stand by silently as this person rapes you spiritually, or empties your bank account, or spreads nasty rumors about you. You can confront in love. You can say, this behavior is unacceptable, you can say I am praying for God to open your eyes and your heart. You CAN distance yourself from this person or persons while they are actively trying to harm you or your family. You can “shake the dust from your sandals” you can walk away…but you should never retreat and then close and bolt the door to your heart.

Leave it open, if only a crack… and trust that God will be working in their heart while you are praying for this person, and believe that He is actively at work in yours, preparing you for the day that person shows up.

Be sure that YOUR side of the door is free from debris so that when that person does come knocking, you can fling that door open, without any obstacles and grab them up in a great big bear hug. See, the key to maintaining your side of the door is to remember that YOU are like THAT person to God, and He forgave you. John Piper says it like this:

“Saving faith is not merely believing that you are forgiven. Saving faith means believing that God's forgiveness is an awesome thing! Saving faith looks at the horror of sin and then looks at the holiness of God and believes that God's forgiveness is a staggering beauty and unspeakably glorious. Faith in God's forgiveness does not merely mean confidence that I am off the hook. It means confidence that this is the most precious thing in the world. That's why I use the word cherish. Saving faith cherishes being forgiven by God.”

When you remember how great a debt you’ve been forgiven, it makes those offences against you seem small and petty in comparison. Admittedly, this is an area I still struggle with. However God patiently reminds me over, and over that I am His child and He is oh so patient as He weeds out the roots of bitterness that would spring up in the places where I have been hurt.

I will share with you one of my biggest struggles if only that you realize you are not alone in this struggle to live at peace, and to know it can be done, even if it is done imperfectly.

Of course it is my former pastor.

I have allowed the bitterness I have felt towards he and his family to keep me from fully participating in the work of the church. Fear controlled me as I thought “it” might happen again. I was angry at God for not protecting me when all I wanted to do was serve Him. I now know that God is heart broken over what happened to me (and the other women at the church) and that there were things in my life that He wanted out, areas He wanted me to grow in, and I have. I am thankful for the event, I am not yet thankful for the vessel He chose to use. I do know that I struggle with believing this man is truly repentant, and there is quite a bit of debris on my side of the door that should he ever show up knocking, I think I would have a hard time opening the door of my heart, and certainly I am not ready to give him a big bear hug… but I am leaving it in Gods hands, and I am no longer balling up my fists and I am not isolating myself. I am putting myself out there to do what He wills with my life.

Am I scared? Sure I am, but I believe that God has a purpose and a plan for my life. Sitting in my house fearful that some sinner will take advantage of me makes me like the fella in Matthew 25 who buried his talent. I don’t wanna be THAT guy.

I bet you don’t either…

Keep your heart open…and love like Jesus did…