Jealousy and Envy

Session Eight

Jealousy and Envy are creeping sins, in my opinion.   

They creep in and whisper in your ear that your friend, your sister, your husband or wife does not deserve those accolades, or things they have acquired, YOU do. I think of all the sins we have discussed so far this one is most insidious. It is so damaging to friendships, to families and even to marriages. The others are damaging as well, don’t get me wrong, but this one has a brother a sister, a husband a wife or two best friends smiling at one another, face to face, while inside they seethe with jealousy and envy.

Dictionary dot com defines Envy as: “a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, successes, possessions, etc.” and Jealousy as: resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage or against another’s success or advantage itself.” And Jealousy as: “resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself.”

It is this feeling of discontent that causes a rift in the closest of relationships. It is borne from the sin of covetousness. It boils down to the fact that you want what they have, whoever ‘they’ are. Be it their talents, their looks, or their possessions, suddenly you look up from your life and become so discontent with the hand you were dealt and you imagine you would be happier if only you had so-and so’s talent, or so-and so’s health or so-and so’s money. You would not be by the way; you have only deceived yourself into thinking you would be. You would still be YOU, just with all their “stuff” and the reality is that THEY have their own set of troubles uniquely designed by the Creator to mold them and make them more like Christ.

Here’s what He said through Paul in Galatians 1:10 “Now am I still trying to win the favor of men or of God? Do I seek to please men? If I were still seeking popularity with men I should not be a bondservant of Christ (the Messiah).”

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and stop coveting what they have and REST in the knowledge that He has us JUST where HE wants us and in the exact set of circumstances that will produce in us the most fruit for His kingdom. What He does is ALWAYS good, and will make us MOST effective for telling others about Him, and isn’t that what we’re supposed to be doing? Telling others how amazing He is? :)

Sanctification is the act or process of acquiring sanctity, of being made or becoming holy. We are INSTANTLY saved; but it takes a lifetime for us to be made holy because we still dwell in these bodies of flesh. My husband and I often discuss Philippians 1:21-23 where Paul cries out, “For me to live is Christ [His life in me] and to die is gain [the gain of the glory of eternity]. If, however, it is to be life in the flesh, and I am to live on here, that means fruitful service for me; so I can say nothing as to my personal preference. [I cannot choose] But I am hard pressed between the two. My yearning desire is to depart (to be free of this world, to set forth) and be with Christ, for that is far, far better.”

Even this GOOD desire can become bad if we begin to focus too much on that yearning to be there with Him instead of listening to what Paul said and begin focus on the task at hand which is to go and be in “fruitful service” for Christ.

I had a moment of clarity this past week as I helped a dear friend with a task that seemed completely overwhelming. As I surveyed the task before us I proclaimed that we would be at it for at least a week, maybe longer with multiple helpers. Once I focused on the task though, and began to slowly chip away at what had previously seemed insurmountable, we made headway and in two twelve hour days we finished. 

So it is with bearing fruit for His glory. We focus on the task He has assigned us and the ‘lot’ He has given us, in fact that is ONE of my favorite verses, (Philippians 4:7) and we will produce fruit, and we will find peace. 

 Let’s get to our questions:

II. ENVY AND JEALOUSY

1.   What points did Paul make about envy and jealousy in:

Romans 1:28-29 “And so, since they did not see fit to acknowledge God or approve of Him or consider Him worth the knowing, God gave them over to a base and condemned mind to do things not proper or decent but loathsome. Until they were filled with (permeated and saturated) with every kind of unrighteousness, iniquity, grasping and covetous greed, and malice. [They were] full of envy and jealousy, murder, strife, deceit and treachery, ill will and cruel ways. [They were] secret backbiters and gossipers.”

That those who do not see fit to acknowledge God, or approve of Him, or consider Him worth the knowing, then He, the very God they refuse to acknowledge, will turn them over to a base and condemned mind. It is a mind filled with “every kind of unrighteousness” among those is envy and jealousy.

I Corinthians 13:4 “Love endures long and is patient and kind; love is never envious nor boils over with jealousy, it is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.”

That real love, the love that comes from the Father, does not envy and is not jealous.

Galatians 5:19-21 “Now the doings (practices) of the flesh are clear (obvious):they are immorality, impurity, indecency, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill-temper), selfishness, divisions (dissensions), party spirit (factions, sects with particular opinions, heresies), envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you beforehand, just as I did previously, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”

That if you live and operate in the flesh, you will display the fruit of the flesh, and not the fruit of the spirit. Among the fruit of the flesh listed are jealousy and envy.

2.   Read these verses and make note of the kinds of things that tempt people to become envious and jealous:

Acts 5:12-17 “Now by the hands of the apostles (special messengers) numerous and startling signs and wonders were being performed among the people. And by common consent they all met together [at the temple] in the covered porch (walk) called Solomon’s. And none of those who were not of their number dared to join and associate with them, but the people held them in high regard and praised them and made much of them. More and more there were being added to the Lord those who believed [those who believed and acknowledged Jesus as their Lord and Savior and devoted themselves to Him and gathered with them], crowds of both men and women, So that they [even] kept carrying out the sick into the streets and placing them on couches and sleeping pads, [in the hope] that as Peter passed by, at least his shadow might fall on some of them. And the people gathered also from the towns and hamlets around Jerusalem, bringing the sick and those troubled with foul spirits, and they were all cured. But the high priest rose up and all who were his supporters, that is the party of the Sadducees, and being filled with jealousy and indignation and rage,”

The gifts and abilities that God blessed Peter with.

Acts 13:44-45 “The next Sabbath almost the entire city gathered together to hear the Word of God [concerning the attainment through Christ of salvation in the Kingdom of God] But when the Jews saw the crowds filled with envy and jealousy they contradicted what was said by Paul and talked abusively [reviling and slandering him].”

The gifts and abilities Paul was blessed with.

I Samuel 18:6-9 “As they were coming home when David returned from killing the Philistine, the women came out of all the Israelite towns, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul with timbrels, songs of joy , and instruments of music. And the women responded as they laughed and frolicked, saying Saul has slain his thousands, David his ten-thousands. And Saul was very angry, for the saying displeased him; and he said, they have ascribed to David ten-thousands, but to me they have ascribed only thousands? What more can he have but the kingdom? And Saul [jealously] eyed David from that day forward.”

David’s military prowess.

Genesis 4:4-8 “And Abel brought the first born of his flock and of the fat portions. And the Lord had respect and regard for Abel and for his offering. But for Cain and his offering He had no respect or regard. So Cain was exceedingly angry and indignant and he looked sad and depressed. And the Lord said to Cain, Why are you angry? And why do you look sad and depressed and dejected? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at your door; its desire is for you, but you must master it. And Cain said to his brother; Let us go out into the field. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.”

Abel’s favor with God.

Genesis 37:4-11 “But when his brothers saw that their father loved [Joseph] more than all of his brothers, they hated him and could not say, Peace [in friendly greeting] to him or speak peaceably to him. Now Joseph had a dream and he told it to his brothers, and they hated him still more. And he said to them, Listen now and hear, I pray you this is the dream I have dreamed: We [brothers] were binding sheaves in the field, and behold, my sheaf arose and stood upright, and behold your sheaves stood around my sheaf and bowed down! His brothers said to him, Shall you indeed reign over us? Or are you going to have us as your subjects and dominate us? And they hated him all the more for his dreams and for what he said. But Joseph dreamed yet another dream and told it to his brothers [also]. He said, See here, I have dreamed again, and behold [this time not only] eleven stars [but also] the sun and the moon bowed down and did reverence to me! And he told it to his father [as well as] his brethren. But his father rebuked him and said to him, What is the meaning of this dream that you have dreamed? Shall I and your mother and your brothers actually come and bow down ourselves to the earth and do homage to you? Joseph’s brothers envied him and were jealous of him, but his father observed the saying and pondered over it.”

Joseph’s favor with his father and the dreams he shared with them that predicted that they would someday be subservient to him.

Genesis 37:18-20 “And when they saw him far off, even before he came near, they conspired to kill him. And they said one to another, See, here comes this dreamer and master of dreams. So come on now, let us kill him and throw his body into some pit; then we will say [to our father], some wild and ferocious animal has devoured him; and we shall see what will become of his dreams!”

Joseph’s dreams that placed him in a superior position over his brothers and parents.

Esther 5:9-13 “Haman went away that day joyful and elated in heart. But when he saw Mordecai at the king’s gate refusing to stand up or show fear before him, he was filled with wrath against Mordecai. Nevertheless, Haman restrained himself and went home. There he sent for and called for his friends and Zeresh his wife. And Haman recounted to them the glory of his riches, the abundance of his [ten] sons, all things which the king had promoted him, and how he had advanced him above the princes and servants of the king. Haman added, Yes, and today Queen Esther did not let any man come with the king to the dinner she prepared but myself; and tomorrow also I am invited by her together with the king. Yet all this benefits me nothing as long as I see Mordecai sitting at the king’s gate.”

With all that Haman possessed he was still envious of Mordecai, who was a slave.

3.   Jerry writes, “Closely allied with envy and jealousy is the spirit of competiveness—the urge to always win or be the top person in whatever our field of endeavor is.” What’s the difference between doing our best and being driven by envy and jealousy?

Ecclesiastes 4:4 “Then I saw that all painful effort in labor and all skill in work comes from man’s rivalry with his neighbor. This is also vanity, a vain striving after the wind and feeding upon it.”

Song of Solomon 8:6 “Set me like a seal upon your heart, like a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, jealousy is as hard and cruel as Sheol (the place of the dead). Its flashes are flashes of fire, a most vehement flame [the very flame of the Lord!]”

James 3:16 “For whenever there is jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry and selfish ambition) there will also be confusion (unrest, disharmony, rebellion) and all sorts of evil vile practices.”

The above verses confirm what we already know about envy and jealousy. It is destructive and while it appears to have an element of self-preservation to it, ultimately it destroys the one who is consumed with it. Like all of the sins we have discussed so far, it is seductive, it seems like something that may be good for you (competitiveness disguised as jealousy) and before you know it you are in over your head consumed with things that do not matter in the larger scheme of this life we are living. 

II Timothy 2:15 “Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of truth.”

Colossians 3:23 “Whatever may be your task work at it heartily (from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not men.”

I Corinthians 9:24-27 “Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but [only] one receives the prize? So run [your race] that you may lay hold [of the prize] and make it yours. Now every athlete goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of blessedness] that cannot wither. Therefore I do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do not box like one beating the air and striking without an adversary. But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly and discipline it by hardships] and subdue, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel and the things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not fit to stand the test, be unapproved, and rejected as a counterfeit].”

The above verses get to the heart of the matter, our works, any of them; ALL of them should be done with a single purpose in mind, to glorify the Father. We should always be looking for ways to point others toward Him in all that we do or say. All of our talents, abilities indeed even our looks are generous gifts from a loving Father. If you feel that you are disfigured or disabled in some way and you cannot contribute I urge you to read the story of Nick Vujicic or that of Joni Eareckson Tada YOU will always have something to contribute as long as there is breath in your body. He has a purpose and a plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that WE know the thoughts and plans that HE has towards US and they are plans for welfare and peace, NOT for evil. They are plans to give us a HOPE in our final outcome. EVERYTHING HE does is good, even when we think it is bad…it is ALL being used for our good and His glory, I believe that with all that is in me, even when I don’t believe it…I still believe…

And so dear ones, I bring this session to a close…I have one last thing Mr. Jerry and I will address before I move on to Jeremy Camp’s book, the issue of worldliness. That is for next time. Until then, remember to love them like Jesus… xoxo