We have been talking with a woman who found herself involved in a relationship that the Bible calls an abomination. To be fair though, the Lord, speaking through His Word in Proverbs 6:16-19 says these six no seven things He also hates and considers an abomination:
"A proud look, [the spirit that makes one overestimate himself and underestimate others], a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that manufactures wicked thoughts and plans, feet that are swift in running to evil. a false witness who breathes out lies [even under oath], and he who sows discord among his brethren."
Did ya'll notice He mentions lying twice in the span of just a few verses? The reality is that He hates sin so much that He DID something about it. I recently read this and I will share it with you here, "We do not worship a deistic God, an absentee landlord who ignores his slum; we worship a garbageman God who came right down into our worst garbage (and I will add, a mess that WE created) to clean it up. How do we get God off the hook for allowing evil? (for allowing sin?) God is not off the hook, God IS the hook. That's the point of the crucifix." He died to set us free, and that's what this next part of our interview is about. How this woman was delivered from the prison cell into a life of service to Him. Let's get to the rest of her story...
After God exposed the relationship, what struggles did you have?
As I mentioned, my "sin bend" is toward sensuous things, and so this temptation and others similar to it I will likely struggle with for life as James 1:14 says, "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire." Several years after my relationship with Helen, I met a woman named Lila, and we became acquainted. She was nice. I thought she was coming on to me, but on the other hand I thought to myself, "No, this can't be." Once I became certain, and I could see that in my flesh I was being drawn to her, I spoke to another friend of mine, Samantha. She reassured me that I should cut off this friendship. So I wrote to Lila, a letter; which Samantha hand-delivered for me. In the letter I stated my former sin, and I told her about the love and saving grace of Jesus Christ. I then explained that we could have no further contact. Another time I was vacationing with friends and I felt myself drawn to a woman. I felt the Lords unrelenting Love, I was convicted, humbled and delivered. All during this time Alton (the very first friend I shared my story with) and I had been growing closer, and were now very dear friends. He had actually helped me through some very difficult family situations and our relationship was beginning to blossom. The way he showed Christ-like love to me over and over reminded me of the account in the Bible where Jesus lovingly protected the woman caught in adultery and exposed the hearts of the adulterers. This man showed me love in action as he privately counseled me and my mother during terrible times of conflict. The sacrifices he made and the Hosea type love he had for me won my heart and made me his bride. Today I can say I am happily married to my best friend.
So, how are you doing now? Do you still struggle as a married woman?
Well, this is a "life-dominating sin" but if we are honest, aren't ALL sins "life-dominating"? So, yes, I still struggle with temptations, thoughts, dreams, but the very FIRST thing I do is confess immediately whatever thought, dream or emotion I am having to Alton so that he can hold me accountable and guide me as my spiritual leader and my husband. It is good to memorize Scripture as well, and this is one I have hidden in my heart--I Corinthians 6:9-11 "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral, nor the idolaters, nor the adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor the drunkards, nor the revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God." I have also shared my story with my pastor and his wife, and a few other mature believers in the church so that they a.)know and b.) are able to challenge me or help me through prayer or words of encouragement. With the help of the Holy Spirit I have come to learn what triggers are associated with my becoming tempted by this sin and so I work to avoid those.
With 20/20 as hindsight, what can you see about your "old" self
From my perspective, as a woman who has lived it, and come away by God's grace, I can tell you that a couple of the factors that played into it were that deep longing for intimacy and comfort; that desire to "know and be known" that drew me into a relationship with Helen. It was a way for me to get those desires met with out the risk of sexual intercourse or the responsibilities of love that involve personal sacrifice. I didn't have to DO things the way God intended. It was MY way (man's way) to pervert the plan that God has for His people to experience the joy and beauty of the covenant of marriage. Now I know more about the beauty of God's ways and I actually enjoy living IN them.
Well, I hope you have enjoyed this honest look into the life of a believer who was tangled by their sin, who sometimes is still tempted, but who is an overcomer. We all struggle, we will till we draw our very last...I think Elisabeth Elliott said it best and so I will leave you with her words:
"If we hold tightly to anything given to us unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul. What God gives us is not necessarily "ours" but only ours to offer back to Him, ours to relinquish, ours to lose, ours to let go of, IF we want to be our true selves. MANY deaths must go into reaching maturity in Christ, many letting go's."
GO free, the door is open...XOXO
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